I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
