1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
