so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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