I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
worst night to have a conscience
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
