The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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