No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
