So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
