I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
