Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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