I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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