hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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