That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
