don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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