Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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