did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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