So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
