i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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