I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
