I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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