Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
