people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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