So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think i have two assholes
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
