Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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