Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize