k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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