forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
