508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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