he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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