I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
