i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
