you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
