I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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