So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
