I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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