everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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