My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
