i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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