My room smells like vodka and shame
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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