you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
