That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
