Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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