You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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