Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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