I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
