sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
