dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
