forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
