dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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