I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
