Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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