I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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