We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
