Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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