the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
