i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
