Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my shit smells like andre
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
