God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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