Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
