Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
