I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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