it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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