The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
