Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
