And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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