Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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