I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
