why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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